Cortisol- Does It Matter?

I don't quite know how I got to reading about it tonight, but I found myself looking into all I could find about Cortisol and wondering if it really matters.

What is Cortisol?  It is a hormone that raises blood sugar and blood pressure in times of stress for the purpose of feeding the muscles for a potential fight or flight response.

What can trigger Cortisol spikes other than high stress situations?  Lack of sleep, ANY stress, over exercise, heavy workouts, and caffeine.

What does Cortisol do when you have too much, too often?  It can cause high blood pressure, diabetes, increased belly fat, memory problems, autoimmune diseases, depression, insomnia, poor would healing, and basic weight gain.

Could this one hormone be the source of many of my medical problems?  I am certainly long-term sleep deprived as I have insomnia (it takes me hours to fall asleep no matter how exhausted I am) but I still have to get up for the kids every day.  I am certainly regularly stressed (special needs kids, finances, migraines, physical pain, etc).  I certainly have many years of inexplicable weight gain and memory and concentration problems.

If it is the source, how do I reduce it?  If Cortisol is caused by sleep deprivation, and Cortisol causes insomnia, then Cortisol causes more Cortisol.  So, what else can I do?

I'm not a "heavy exerciser", so I don't have to worry about that Cortisol trigger and modify my method of exercise.  I do drink caffeine, but in the last few months I have actually reduced my intake by a lot because of my insomnia.  Mostly now it's just my morning coffee.  I suppose I could reduce it further by switching to decaf after the first cup, and eventually by eliminating caffeine altogether.  Life stress is what it is, and there isn't much I can do about it.

Are there any other options?  Are there supplements?  After much reading I did find a few possibilities.  Some sound more promising than others.

Fish Oil (Omega 3):  2,000mg a day is supposed to reduce Cortisol levels, in addition to its many other health benefits.  It is well documented as safe for most people to take. Side effects are mostly fish scented breath. (Ew.) If only I could get past the smell when I open the bottle.  Alternatively, I could increase my fish intake. I think I'd personally rather do that. "Fatty fish, such as salmon, lake trout, herring, sardines and tuna, contain the most omega-3 fatty acids and therefore the most benefit. For adults, at least two servings of omega-3-rich fish a week are recommended. A serving size is 3.5 ounces (99 grams), or about the size of a deck of cards."  -Mayo Clinic

Chromium: supposedly helps stabilize blood sugar and thus reduce Cortisol spikes.  Some believe it is helpful in treating diabetes and cholesterol problems, but none of these have been evaluated, much less proven, and too much chromium has been proven harmful.  I won't be trying this.






B Vitamins: Another well documented vitamin with numerous uses According to research, B vitamins, particularly Vitamin B5 (pantethine), work to reduce the hypersecretion of cortisol. Paradoxically, excess cortisol depletes B vitamins from the system, so people with high stress levels tend to be woefully deficient in these powerful nutrients. The B vitamins are most effective when taken together, thus eating foods that are high in all B vitamins such as liver, or taking high quality B vitamin supplements is crucial in restoring energy levels." -http://blog.radiantlifecatalog.com   It is helpful in a number of ways, but exceeding 100mg a day of B6 can be harmful.  If you choose a B Complex daily vitamin, make sure it has Vitamin C in it, as Vitamin C is needed for the absorption of B Vitamins.


Cayenne: It is believed to help with pain relief, cancer prevention, weight management, and joint health.  The recommended dosage is 450mg in the morning and again mid-day, with meals.  It has been known to cause gastrointestinal distress just as eating very spicy foods would.  This is not a good idea if you are already ulcer prone, or already have stomach acid problems.  (I had my first ulcer at 17, so I will be avoiding this one, also.)






Ginger: Claims to help with nausea, dizziness, menstrual cramps,
and arthritis.  Testing has been inconclusive on most of these, though there is strong evidence it helps with osteoarthritis.  It can cause diarrhea, heartburn, and stomach distress, so stay under 5mg a day if you try it, and take it with food in the morning.  This is another I will skip as a supplement pill, but I could easily add a cup of ginger tea a day to my diet and I already have it in my cupboard for nausea.

Rhodiola:  This is a form of Ginseng.  Studies in multiple countries have shown it to be helpful with Cortisol levels, stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, attention span, and memory problems.  It's most common side effects were dizziness and dry mouth. Studies I read recommended using the standard extract with 2-3% Rosavin and 0.8-1% Salidroside and to start with 100mg/day for a week and increase by 100mg/day, up to a total of 400mg/day, if needed. It should be taken early in the day because, like ginseng in energy drinks, it has an energizing effect and can cause sleep interference.



Obviously, don't start taking any supplement without talking to your doctor about it first.  I am certainly not an expert and don't know what may react with your particular medications or health conditions.

I plan on discussing Rhodiola with my doctor on my next visit and asking about pairing it with a B boost vitamin.  I know I can take the B boost and already have it in my home.  I would like to try the combination of the B boost and Rhodiola (and increase my fish intake)  for a couple months and see if it helps any.

After all these years of fruitless doctor appointments and specialists, wouldn't it be amazing if Cortisol was the problem, and if I could fix it??

Electronic Cigarette Journey and Reviews Part 2

Like most people, I can't be randomly tossing out a hundred bucks a pop just to "try out" a new product, so on the evening of October 13, 2014, I began searching for e-cig companies that offer free or nearly free samples.

I was careful to make sure I didn't order any that were "free" but would begin to charge me 2 weeks later for a huge amount.  Lots of them do that if the "sample" is a rechargeable kit, so if you want to try some out, make sure you read the fine print, and if you aren't absolutely certain, talk to their customer service through a messenger type chat or through email so you can screen shot/save whatever you learn just in case you are mislead.

I did find a number of companies that offered samples that fit my criteria and ordered from three of them that evening.  I saved the websites of a few more to order later on.

The ones I ordered, what I received, and my experience with them in the ordering process were:

Greensmoke.com This was an  "intro kit" that consisted of a rechargeable battery, 2 Red Label Tobacco Cartridges, and a USB battery charger. Also included were a 3 pack of Absolute Tobacco cartridges, and a 3 pack of Menthol Ice cartridges.

It shipped on 10/14/14 and it arrived in my mailbox on 10/16/14.  The samples themselves were free and I paid $1 for shipping plus tax for a grand total out of pocket of $1.08.

I did contact this company's customer service chat to ensure that I wouldn't be charged for a kit later on as I couldn't readily find it on their website, and they reassured me I would not be. The sample is a flat out sample not an enrollment.


Apolloecigs.com  This sample was one dsposable e-cig that was free by putting in a code upon checkout.  I could choose from Regular, Menthol, or Watermelon flavor.  I chose regular. I did have to pay $2.32 for shipping.

It shipped out on 10/15/14 and I received it on 10/17/14.

It did not enroll me in any future charges or membership.

21stcenturysmoke.com  This sample was an e-cig Express Kit. (Two cartridges, one wall charger, one battery.) I could choose Regular or Menthol. It was TOTALLY free.  I did not even have to pay shipping.

This company did have some difficulty verifying my age (which makes me wonder if they are the only ones who actually tried?), but after a couple email exchanges I offered to send them a picture of my license (I blocked out my license number with a little post-it so only my name, address, picture, and DOB were visible) and that fixed the problem.

They shipped within an hour of me providing my license picture.  The sample shipped out on 10/17/14 and was in my mailbox on 10/20/14.

Their site made it very clear I would not be charged more later on. "Get the 21st Century Smoke Express kit for FREE! No strings attached. Please select if you want Regular or Menthol below. Offer limited to one menthol or regular express kit per customer."  




By the time all of these arrived, BluCigs had fixed their shipping error and I had all four brands in hand.  (They have not released the Blu Plus+, so I don't yet know if that will be sent to me as promised, or if so if it will arrive properly.  Ever the optimist, I can still hope.)  

With four brands ready for sample and review for Part 3, and approximately four more I intend to order and review at a later date, I better get a move on!  I am hoping to get at least one more person to sample these with me for a more accurate review. We shall see if I can manage that.

Come back in a few days for the actual product reviews of these four brands of e-cig!

Electronic Cigarette Journey and Reviews Part 1

A number of people I know switched to e-cigs (electronic cigarettes) a few years ago, and without exception, they all tried to convince me to do the same because they are supposedly "healthier".  A few of them even convinced me to try a couple puffs of theirs.  Some weren't bad.  Some were downright nasty tasting.

I'm not foolish enough to think that e-cigs are flat out healthy, but I do think they are probably the lesser of two evils. With e-cigs you inhale water vapor instead of smoke.  Compare mentally to sitting in a steam bath or sitting in the smoke path from a campfire. Obviously steam is less nasty.

Yes, either way (analog cigarette or e-cig) one is still introducing chemicals to their bodies, and quitting entirely is the best option of all; but, I do believe e-cigs are likely to be a good path to quitting, or at least a somewhat better option.

If one wanted to use e-cigs to quit, they could buy them in decreasing amounts of nicotine until they got to the point where they were vaping on a nicotine free e-cig in a manner similar to using the patch without having the struggle of breaking the hand/mouth habit that often causes quitting smokers to eat more and gain weight.

If one really had no true desire to quit smoking, but wanted an option with no second hand smoke or smoke smell on themselves, e-cigs are again a reasonable option.  I probably fit in this category.  I don't drink.  I don't do drugs. I do smoke.  It's "my vice".  But, I hate how it makes my house smell, and I hate that it bothers other people with the smoke and smell.

In August of 2012 I caved, and after reading online reviews of several brands, I decided to buy a Blu disposable and I actually really liked it.  The flavor was mostly regular cigarette, with just a hint of something sweet like maybe mocha.  It had a sufficient amount of nicotine that I didn't die for a regular cigarette while I was using it.  That one disposable lasted me about two days, and I was pleased enough with it to feel it was worth buying the Blu Rechargeable Kit and 4 packs of cartridges.

In September 2012 I did just that, and forked out $108 for it all. I was so excited to get it.  I had such high hopes based on how much I loved the disposable one.

Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed pretty quickly.

About half the cartridges didn't work properly and crackled and popped and spit droplets of the "juice" into my mouth and then ran out much faster than they were supposed to.

The "pack" wouldn't charge the batteries most of the time (I think it didn't apply enough pressure on the battery to maintain sufficient contact with the charger.) which left me with only the usb charging option.

Worst of all, they didn't taste the same as the disposable.  They still had the traditional tobacco flavor, but none of that "hint of sweet" that had caused me to buy Blu over other brands.

I called customer service with my complaints, expecting to be able to exchange my obviously faulty products, and was given what I felt was a brush off.  Regarding the bad cartridges, I was sent ONE replacement pack.  Mind you, at least half of my 4 packs were no good.  Regarding the pack itself not charging the batteries, I was told "don't move it around so much" even though I had been charging and storing it flat on a table.  Can't really move around less than that, right?  It's not like I had it in my pocket while doing aerobics. As for the flavor difference, I was told it was simply that the cartridges didn't come in as strong a nicotine content as the disposable, but was otherwise the same, and if I didn't like it I should just buy disposables instead.  I think not.  I seriously doubt nicotine tastes like mocha cappuccino, and I would not be buying a $10 disposable every two days when I normally pay $20 a carton for regular "analog" cigarettes.

I felt awful about the money I spent, especially given that it was a LOT more than I spend on regular cigarettes for a month, so I waded through as many cartridges as I could manage to get to work before giving up and going back to regular cigarettes. I didn't buy any more because I felt the customer service and the product were poor.

Fast forward two years, and in September 2014, I recieved an email from Blucigs offering me special pricing on a pre-purchase of the new Blu Plus+.  It claimed to be better than the previous products and to have fixed a lot of the old faults.  That got me to thinking about the reasons why I had tried to switch in the first place, and to how much I had liked the disposable one, and I couldn't help but wonder if they really HAD fixed it.  I dragged out my old pack that still had 4 unused cartridges (2 regular and 2 java jolt) and charged it up to see how I felt about shelling out more money for a possibly improved product.

I couldn't get the pack to charge the batteries again, and used the usb charger.  By now, the batteries had gone completely bad, and wouldn't hold a charge at all.  They went from fully charged to dead in two puffs.  I had only used them for about a month. I gave up and ignored further emails until...

On October 6th, BluCigs posted an article on their Facebook page about their great customer service.  I couldn't resist replying that my experience had been anything but stellar.  Surprisingly, I was replied to very quickly by the author of the actual article, Jonathan.  He apologized for the service I had received, and offered to make it up to me and asked me to message him.

In Private message, he offered me a Premium 100 kit and 5 packs of cartridges in any flavor I wanted AND that I would be sent the Blu Plus+ upon it's release to try to win me back as a customer.  I offered to return the Kit I had and the few remaining cartridges but he said that wasn't necessary.

The next day Blu Cigs called me to verify my age and address and said my Premium 100 Kit would ship in 1-2 days and I would get an email with confirmation and tracking.

I never got that email, but my package came on October 14th.

I knew as soon as I saw the package in my mailbox that something was wrong.  The package was flat.  It was supposed to have a kit in it similar to my original one.  That certainly wouldn't fit in a flat package.  I took pictures of the package and what I found when I opened it.

I was right.  The 5 packs of cartridges were there, but no kit.  Just a lone battery in a saran baggie. This is not helpful.  How am I supposed to charge it?  I certainly can't use this.

Back to customer support I went.  This time I used their CS chat on their website and told them what had happened with my delivery.  I offered to return it or to provide the photos I had taken. The rep could not fix the issue because the shipping order and packing slip both said the kit was in there.  He told me a supervisor would call me back.

It turned out the person that called me back at 5pm was the one that had verified my address, and he didn't seem quite as friendly this time.  I explained what had happened, and that the packing slip said the kit was in there but that only a battery was in there instead.  I offered to return the entire package.  I offered to message or email the pictures if he wanted immediate evidence. He told me that he had considered having me send the pictures, but that he "supposed he wouldn't after all".  That's about as close to saying you think I am a liar trying to scam a bunch of free stuff as possible, without actually saying it.  Gee, thanks, guy. I'm not the one who started this whole thing trying to win back a customer, Blu was.

He ended up telling me they would ship the kit in 1-2 days, and that I would get a confirmation email.  I, again, never got that email, but I did get the tracking number after I requested it from a customer service person on Oct. 19.  The package arrived on October 20th.  This time the kit was in it.

This series of problems with Blu caused me to decide to begin a search for a different e-cig company while I waited to see if they "fixed" the problem enough to win me back as a customer, or if I would be going elsewhere permanently.

That journey, and the conclusion to this one, will be found in later posts. Hope you'll join me!!

A Realistic Approach to Emergency Preparedness

Yes, I have caught myself pinning storms of emergency preparedness items that range from crank powered flashlights all the way to complete 1 year supplies of dried and canned food for a family of five.

No, I am not digging a bunker in my back yard in preparation for a zombie apocalypse.  Pinterest just does that kind of downward spiral for me.

However, I DO believe a family should have supplies on hand for emergencies.

 I live in Upstate NY where we get snow.  Lots and lots of snow.  We get Ice Storms.  We get Microbursts. Any of these alone can close roads and cause power outages for days at a time.  In March 1991 an ice storm combined with heavy snow putting hundreds of thousands trapped at home without heat or electricity for up to 12 days.  The North American Ice Storm of 1998 left millions in the dark from days to weeks.

Other parts of the country face the same potential temporary loss of services due to hurricanes, tornadoes, and earthquakes.  People can be quarantined in their homes due to various diseases like Ebola.

None of these situations really offer any ability to last minute shop.  Even if you have a day warning of a severe storm, you are likely to find store shelves bare of essentials like bread and milk. The buying frenzy alone is reason enough to stay home if at all possible.

As adults, and even more so as parents, we need to be prepared for up to two weeks survival trapped at home without power.



But, how do you do that without spending a fortune?  How do you not waste anything? How do you know you are REALLY ready?

As some prediction models indicate this will be a heavy snow winter, I have been putting more thought into this than I have in the past.  The internet has a million ideas and wading through them can be an overwhelming task that leaves you feeling like a doomsday prepper, so I decided to let you know what I do.

I did make my plan based on the assumption that I can exit my house to get to at least my own yard and grill.  I could alternately use my gas stove as long as I have matches or a lighter with which to light it.  Do NOT try to bring a grill inside. Carbon monoxide is deadly.

I started with the most expensive item on my need list.  An extra tank for my propane grill.  (Alternately, extra bags of coal for a regular grill.)  Yes, that is literally the most expensive item I need to keep on hand.

I made a one week meal plan of foods I am sure my family will all eat, that can be made with either no cooking at all or with just the grill.  Don't waste time and money on survival meals your kids won't eat.  That will just make everyone miserable.  And, yes you can make almost anything on a grill if you try. The hardest part was coming up with meals that didn't require refrigerated/perishable items.

I quickly came to the conclusion that I would be ok with incorporating a lot of pre-made/processed meals that I would normally use as treat meals or "mommy is too sick to cook" meals because, let's face it, perfect nutrition isn't probably going to be our biggest concern in an emergency, and it will be for a short period of time.  I can go back to carrot stick snacks for the kids when life is normal again.  Whatever it takes to prevent a mutiny, right?

I do keep a couple loaves of bread in the freezer.  They can be thawed out at the time of the emergency/disaster and will easily stay good for one to two weeks. I also keep a couple half gallons of milk in there for the same thing.  They won't stay good as long, but if you can put them in the snow they'll be good for a few days after thawing.

I obviously realize we would spend the first couple days using up perishables to avoid waste, but after that we would go to the meal plan.  It can be repeated as many times as necessary until the situation is resolved.

I made sure to add a treat/dessert/snack for each day. Everyone is in a better mood if they can have a snack in a bad situation.  I made sure to plan my meals with canned and shelf stable foods.  And, I made sure to only use items we normally buy anyhow.  No one wants an emergency supply they need to throw out every 6 months and replace.  That just costs too much. (The two exceptions to this were a box of powdered milk and a container of instant coffee as they basically stay good forever.)

Store your food supplies in a tote/bin if they are in boxes or bags to keep pests away.  I also find this makes it easier to not accidentally mix them into our regular food supply.

I found basics like pancake mix that only needs to have water added, rice, anything in a can, crackers, trail mix, and lots of other things qualify if you rotate your supply. I found out that condiment packets need no refrigeration for years, so they are a great addition.  Especially mayo packets.  With mayo packets you can absolutely have tuna sandwiches!  Powdered creamer if you use it in your coffee or tea. Kool aid packets and tea bags. Honey can be used in place of sugar if you run out.  You really want to make what is a horrible experience as painless as possible.

By using items in your supply that you normally use anyhow, you can start buying a few things at a time.  Say you have rice on your grocery list this week and it's part of your emergency plan.  Buy 2 instead of 1, and toss one in your emergency bin.  The next time you buy another for home, cycle it into the bin and use the one you had stored there.  I've found that by doing this for us, nothing lives in there long enough to go bad. Nearly everything you buy in a store in a bag, box, or can is going to be good for at least 6 months if you haven't opened it. I often write purchase dates on things with my trusty Sharpie before tossing them in the bin to be absolutely sure nothing gets old.

Keep only what you will need for those meals in your emergency bins, and resist the urge to use them instead of shopping.

Other necessities are a few cans of sterno for small cooking like soup or coffee, batteries for flashlights or glow sticks if the nights will be long.  (People get a little crazy sitting in the dark and cold 16 hours a day and you can only sleep so much.) Water, of course. The pipes could freeze, the pump could die. You'll need it to make your drinks and to cook with.

Before we get to household concerns, lets look at some things you may have not thought of.
A manual can opener.  You're going to need it.
Scissors.  Those food packages are often hard to open.
A colander.  You'll need to drain rice, pasta, and canned veggies.
Basic first aid products like band-aids, neosporin, tweezers, gauze, medical tape, aspirin/Tylenol.
Toilet paper.  Yes, two weeks worth.  You do NOT want to run out of that.
And, 2 or 3 five gallon buckets with lids.  If your pipes freeze or break, you will not be able to flush your toilet and you'll be thankful for that bucket with a lid.  Icky, but it works.
Pet supplies!!  Food, treats, litter, toys.  Again, 2 weeks worth.  Nobody wants to watch Fido starve.  He is family, too.
Baby wipes.  They are good for everything from cleaning up spills to personal hygiene.  It may not be a shower, but it'll get the stink off and you don't need water to do it.
Dry shampoo.  I don't think any of us wants to go two weeks without getting the grease out of our hair.
Paper plates, cups, tableware.  You may not be able to wash dishes.
Ziplock bags to store the leftovers from an unfinished meal. It's not a time for tossing extra. You can eat the rest of lunch for dinner.
Garbage bags because those food packages and paper plates add up and they are good liners for the potty bucket for quick removal of waste.

Keeping busy will be key to sanity.  If you can go outside during the day, do so.  Go for a walk.  Make a snowman.  Clean up the yard.  Have books, board games, and cards to play with (and if you're into that kind of thing a craft available also). A game or twelve of Candy Land or a few pages in a coloring book can keep the kids from going at each other's throats.

If you live where it gets cold, blankets are key.  The more the better.  You'll want them for a lot of things. Hang them over doors to keep out drafts.  Put them over windows to avoid heat loss through the glass. Lay them on the floors for extra insulation.  They don't need to be new or pretty.  They need to just BE.  You can get extras super cheap at a second hand store like VOA or Salvation Army to keep stuffed in a closet.

You'll need to pick one room to hole up in.  We use the living room because it is the largest and offers several sleeping possibilities.  Hang blankets over any doorway that has no door, and close any doors you can.  Close the heat vents in every room.  The cold air will fly in and your heat will seep out if you don't. If they don't close, block them off with a towel or pillow. You want to trap as much body heat in the room as possible.  Leave the room as little as possible.

Candles help provide light and heat also, but always be careful with them.

I know this may sound odd, but consider keeping a cheap tent on hand to set up in your chosen room. If it gets truly cold, staying inside a tent can hold enough body heat to raise the ambient temperature as much as 15 degrees. This can be all the difference between shivering all night and sleeping comfortably.

Know where your hats, gloves and scarves are. In the cold you'll be glad for the extra layers.  Warm, cozy clothes will be your friend.  It's crunch time.  You don't need to look pretty.

When collecting your supplies, remember you don't need to do it all at once.  Either keep a checklist and fill it out a couple items at a time in the way I mentioned earlier, or buy one meal worth each time you shop.  Either way, you will have a complete two week supply within a couple months. Gradually replace/cycle your food items as you buy new for the regular house supplies.

Keep food you are capable of making, that you know your family will eat on hand, something to amuse yourselves, and the supplies mentioned earlier and you should make it through like champs!!

Coming Back To Makeup After Years Away

All through high school I wore full makeup almost daily.  Living with my father, I was left to my own devices regarding what I used, but I had to buy it myself and in stores we were already going to. In a small town, and on a teen babysitter's budget in the 80s, that left me with the very limited choices available in our grocery store or at CVS the few times a year we had to go there for prescriptions.

I wanted to insert a picture of the current version of this store's selection, but they don't even have a makeup section any more.  :(

There really isn't much decision making involved when your choices are so limited: maybe 4 foundations, 4 colors of eyeliner, 2 or 3 (all black) mascaras, probably less than ten eye shadow colors, and a pink or brown blush. I think there were only 2 brands. (Wet-N-Wild and Cover Girl?)   It really is kind of a miracle I didn't look like a clown.

I tried to pay attention to what other girls did that I didn't like (oh, the mountains of blue eye shadow!).
I got a couple books on how to apply makeup, and did the best I could with what I had. Most importantly, I understood that less is more.

I think I was about a decade ahead of the girls I grew up with in learning how to properly apply multiple shades of eye shadow. Honestly, some of them are still just slapping on a pile of dark color on the eye lid and thinking its attractive and done.  They're likely to be the ones still using Baby Soft perfume and Aqua Net.

Anyhow, I wore those drugstore makeups all through high school and part of college.  I really just didn't know there were more choices aside from Avon until a friend became a Mary Kay consultant. I let her do her whole skin care and makeover presentation on me, and although I didn't like her application style, I actually DID like the products themselves.
I dropped what was, for a 20 year old in their first apartment, a small fortune on the complete kit. The complete skin care line (face and body), the full face worth of makeup (concealer, foundation, blush, eye shadow, eye liner, lipstick, and lip gloss), and even the hot pink hanging travel bag with the clear zip pockets to keep it all organized in.

 This is the current version of the bag, though I think my larger flat pink one was much cuter. I think it all cost me about $250, and back then they allowed it to be split into 3 payments though I didn't. 

By that time I was working a rather physical, very dirty, outdoor job in the summer; so, I mostly only wore makeup if I went out in the evening or on my weekends.  That was the beginning of the end of makeup for me... a job that made makeup impractical and somewhat unnecessary with the tan.  Eventually makeup became a "winter thing", and then a "date night" thing, and over the years it dwindled down to a "weddings and funerals" thing.

After my third child and escaping an abusive relationship, I was very unhappy with how I looked.  I didn't feel pretty. I didn't even feel feminine. So, I started doing my nails and growing my hair out, and even bought some new (cheap) makeup.  Anything I could to find that confident part of myself again.

It's been six years and I still don't wear full makeup often.  Usually I'm just sporting some mascara and lipstick. I don't always do my nails because I prefer to only do that when they are long enough for my taste, but I still do them pretty often.

Due to medical issues (I'll save that for another post), I have become increasingly unhappy with my appearance but have found that I am similarly increasingly more pleased when I do something for myself, something to make me feel more feminine.

I started doing cute pedicures and wearing eyeliner.  I recently cut off my waist length hair into a shoulder length bob and had it frosted to mask my grays. (Wow, what a difference between the 2 cameras on my phone! I swear my haircut isn't lopsided even though it appears so in this pic for some reason.)

 I bought 3 or 4 cute tops that actually fit in a relatively flattering way. And, I started playing with the new to me MUCH wider world of makeup available on a budget.

This is actually the smallest makeup section nearby now!  It's one entire wall of the store! Wow!

Experimenting in a somewhat random manner with all the new inexpensive options is something I really look forward to.  I will enjoy sharing my successes, failures, disappointments, and surprises with you!!